Meet Sid Cowell

As with any small market town, Sprodlington has its eccentrics.   Most are harmless. For instance,  we all know Colin is unpredictable especially when a casual game of dominoes turns against him, but he isn’t really troublesome.

Councillor Sid Wormell is however a complete pain in the arse. Forever chasing the limelight, Wormell announced to The Sprodington Post this week that he has changed his name to Sid Cowell in honour of his idol Simon.  Having spent time at the local comprehensive school judging their “Sprod Idol” competition, which Fleur Brinklow won with her lovely acoustic rendition of The Grateful Dead’s “China Cat Sunflower”, he has insisted in staying in character ever since.

Last Saturday, Sid came into the shop.

“I can honestly say this is  poor attempt at a Hardware store.” he announced.

“Piss off Sid !”

“But you do have the likeability factor,” he replied “And you remind me of a young Ronnie Barker in Open all Hours.”

“You remind me of everything I never wanted to be Sid.”



Olympic Gifts on very special offer


It goes without saying that as an exceptional entrepreneur with an eye for profit, I am seldom too wide of the mark and have my finger on the highest pulse point. However, given the shenanigans at home with Wendy and Tracey returning and taking over ChezTempos, I might just have taken my eye off the ball – just a little.

I had a fantastic Jubilee; I sold through all of the remaining 1977 Silver Jubilee dross which had stayed boxed in the store room for what seemed like an eternity. I even penciled some wrinkles on a few Lady Diana mugs and sold them  to a short sighted lady as The Queen memorabilia. She as happy enough.

But, if I am being honest, I may have misjudged the Olympics. I hadn’t done my research and when Alan Cartwright offered me a sure-fire winner, namely some official mascots in official Olympic colours, I bought 200 and expected them to fly from the table outside of the shop. It appears as though they are not official colours and may not even be made by Burnberry.

To date I have sold 7 – I am open to offers for the other 193.