Merry Christmas from Derek Templeton

Well,  Christmas is nearly here at Templeton’s Hardware and PC Tucknott, Doreen and myself would like to wish you a very Merry Christmas !

The new news here is that recent circumstances (which I am not prepared to go into) have resulted in me deciding to share some of the key business decisions with PC Tucknott and Doreen.  Tucknott has now finished his community service order following the scout in a headlock incident and Doreen is happier now that Tucknott and I have started lifting the toilet seat and doing No 2’s at home rather than at work.

Templeton’s is a happy workplace.

So, I’ve formed a Buying Committee and Tucknott, Doreen and I meet on Wednesday mornings to mull over the latest market offerings. I am proud to announce that we have decided on our key range offering for the season 2012/2013. All the products below are available in store now at a range of competitive prices. Do pop buy and stock up on

The Motorized Rolling Pin

Gift 1

No longer will you have aching wrists or “rolling-pin elbows” with our fantastic motorized rolling-pin. Just press the button on the handle and go with the flow. Price £36.99

The Family Blankeez

Gift 2Gift 3

God we know its cold at the moment – especially in East Yorkshire, but now families can wrap up toasty warm with the Family Blankeez. The brilliance of this clever invention is that it doubles as a cover for the family on weekend bike rides in less than clement weather. Price £27.99

The Pet Sweep

Gift 5 Gift 6How many times have pet owners had to clear up muddy paw marks from the previously beautifully clean kitchen and hall floors. Wel know we let the pets do the work with Pet Sweep. Simply attach the dust boots to the paws of your favourite pooch and sit back and watch your floors get clear. Price £19.99

Merry Christmas

Derek, PC Tucknott and Doreen – Templeton’s Hardware Buying Committee

Meet Crystal le Menthe

Friend and Fortune Teller to the Stars

A year ago to the day you will remember that Trevor Shoreditch found a new direction in life and ran to Brighton to find the new person inside. For a while he became Wendy, and seemed to sever all ties with yours truly and start a new life.

Well I am delighted to say that Trevor (Wendy) is back in East Yorkshire and is excelling as self-proclaimed “Friend and Fortune teller to the stars” Crystal le Menthe. She tells me she has a new website on its way and, following a year in training, has already given predictions to Celebrities including

  1. Katie Price
  2. Davina McCall
  3. Rio Ferdinand
  4. Stephen Fry
  5. Katie Perry
  6. Lady Gaga
  7. Paris Hilton

Well, I never predicted that outcome, but I wish Crystal le Menthe all the best and watch with interest.

Questions and more questions from Doris Brazil

There’s a little old lady who owns a clothes shop in a small place called Appleton Marsh. Doris Brazil is her name and she has asked me to answer a few questions.
Now in truth, I think Doris has a thing about me and probably doesn’t realise that I am happily married to Wendy. But to keep Doris happy, I am happy on this occasion to oblige

1. Why did you start a blog?
When Tracey our daughter comes to visit from Malton and The Cross Keys is open, I can pop down there. However on the odd occasion that she pops round when it was closed, I needed to find something else to do. Of course only to give her some quality time with her mother.


2. Comfy shoes or killer heels?
(See what I mean about Doris – she’s a funny one and perhaps a little fantasist!)

My working Hush Puppies

I’ve never tried killer heels, I only wear Hush Puppies given that in Templetons Hardware store I am on my wretched feet most of the day



3. The funniest moment in the last week?The funniest moment of last week was when Bin from Dionysus Kebabs pretended he was the Dad in the Greek act from that Britain’s Got Talent programme. He danced like he was Michael Flatman from the River people dance troupe.

4. What would have been your dream job?I would have liked to have been Clive Sullivan powering up the wing for Hull FC. Clive, who now has a road named after him in Hull (ironically slower to travel on in a car than he could run) still holds two records for Hull which are: Most tries in a career (250) and most tries in a match (7) against Doncaster on 15 April 1968.

The famous road in Hull. Clive Sullivan Way


5. If you won the lottery tonight, what would be the first thing you’d do?
I would go down to The Cross Keys and pop a few quid in the fruit machine and have a game of Doms. I wouldn’t tell anyone anything about my win!

6. Most useless gadget you own?I think they are all detailed here . . https://derektempleton.wordpress.com/2010/06/15/should-i-buy-some-vuvezelas/ but I would have to admit that someone bought me this and I have never understood what it is

What on earth is this thing ?

7. You’re waiting for someone and they’re late. How late is too late?

Some people I know won’t wait for people for more than two minutes before strolling off and doing their own thing. I have just a little more patience, but only a little.

8. Are you a do it now person, or a it can wait until tomorrow person?I am most definitely a “It can be done by someone else now” type of person

9. If you were a drink, what would you be?
Drunk

10. What was the first thing you thought when you read these questions?


I thought that Doris Brazil had created a very bizarre way of trying to find out some more information about me. As stated, I feel I have stoked her fire.