You’re nicked!

In the last three months, four regulars at The Cross Keys hostelry have been arrested as they arrived home on suspicion of drink driving. Derek (the Domino player),  Harry Mullet, Steve Simpson and Bernard Lefevre (a rather odd French fellow) have all been found to be over the limit. Derek and Steve have both been found guilty and banned;  the other two await their appearance at the nearby magistrates court.

No one is quite sure about why the local traffic cops are taking such a hard-line on the folks from Sprodlington. They are hardly ever seen at other times. I can remember when we had that spate of hoody car vandalism  – not one in sight.

I always walk to the pub now – just to be safe.

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No hamburgers today !

Well, I supposed I ought to be used to Wade’s reaction to things by now. Our local supplier of agricultural machinery to the nearby farmers, is renowned for changing his opinions depending on the news of the day or the quantity of alcohol he has consumed.

Just one hour before leaving to spend the afternoon with Wade and his tolerant wide Diane, I have just received a phone call to ask whether I had any chicken in the freezer as Wade has decided he is not serving Hamburgers today on the basis that they are American. He also told me that fortunately he has selected Carling rather than Budweiser from Morrison’s in their rather attractive 3 for £18 deal yesterday. (He popped down there with Mike Spencer who runs the local off license)

No doubt Wade will be burning all the photos from his recent family holiday trip to Florida too.