Wendy can’t cook, but Tracey and Mitch can certainly drink

Turkey

Just a short update here to share with you the craziness that is the Templeton’s household on Christmas Day.

Tracey and Mitch did sod all other than drink their way through a case of my Carlsberg lager. They bought nothing, made nothing and did nothing. My present from them ? Sodding bloody socks. Shove it !

Wendy drank Snowballs and (delete as appropriate) Can’t weight things properly/can’t read things properly/can’t follow instructions/can’t choose the right temperature on the oven/just can’t do anything right.

So this is our wonderful Turkey which only looks slightly less tanned than Mr Cheap as Chips Bargain Antiques Man – and I’d pop him on the nose if he came round as well !

Merry bloody Christmas !

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Merry Christmas from Derek Templeton

Well,  Christmas is nearly here at Templeton’s Hardware and PC Tucknott, Doreen and myself would like to wish you a very Merry Christmas !

The new news here is that recent circumstances (which I am not prepared to go into) have resulted in me deciding to share some of the key business decisions with PC Tucknott and Doreen.  Tucknott has now finished his community service order following the scout in a headlock incident and Doreen is happier now that Tucknott and I have started lifting the toilet seat and doing No 2’s at home rather than at work.

Templeton’s is a happy workplace.

So, I’ve formed a Buying Committee and Tucknott, Doreen and I meet on Wednesday mornings to mull over the latest market offerings. I am proud to announce that we have decided on our key range offering for the season 2012/2013. All the products below are available in store now at a range of competitive prices. Do pop buy and stock up on

The Motorized Rolling Pin

Gift 1

No longer will you have aching wrists or “rolling-pin elbows” with our fantastic motorized rolling-pin. Just press the button on the handle and go with the flow. Price £36.99

The Family Blankeez

Gift 2Gift 3

God we know its cold at the moment – especially in East Yorkshire, but now families can wrap up toasty warm with the Family Blankeez. The brilliance of this clever invention is that it doubles as a cover for the family on weekend bike rides in less than clement weather. Price £27.99

The Pet Sweep

Gift 5 Gift 6How many times have pet owners had to clear up muddy paw marks from the previously beautifully clean kitchen and hall floors. Wel know we let the pets do the work with Pet Sweep. Simply attach the dust boots to the paws of your favourite pooch and sit back and watch your floors get clear. Price £19.99

Merry Christmas

Derek, PC Tucknott and Doreen – Templeton’s Hardware Buying Committee