Getting into the Jubillee spirit

I gave PC Tucknott an opportunity to show me a little entrepreneurial spirit.

“Tucknott, do me some flags which we can sell for the Golden Jubilee.  We’ll display them by the till and they’ll work as an impulse purchase.”

For those not in the know,  retailers deliberately place products we feel you may  spontaneously buy at the checkout, just so you add-on the purchase  at the end. Like a little treat.

“Dat’s de biz idea Tempo !” shouted Tucknott, who still seems intent of using this street kid talk.  “Them’s all gonna want de Queenie and dat !”

“Just do the flags  Tucknott please.”  I said.   I got him some pens and paper and took a few sticks from the fuchsias outside.  I sat him down and left him for forty minutes.  The shop had a little flurry: a few screws, a couple of door handles and a tub of Swarfega were popped into paper bags as the till sang its merry tunes.

“I’ve done one for Prince Charles of Wales”  shouted Tucknott.  “He can wave them with his kids.”  I balanced the downside of Tucknott’s stupidity with the upside that the gangsta talk appeared to have been forgotten.

“That’s good Tucknott”  said I as trying hard to muster a  smile.  “But can you so me some of the Union Jack please and  I want 30 by lunchtime.”

Its official – Sprodlington now really supports England !

At this evenings Sprodlington Chamber of Commerce meeting, a motion to increase the town’s visible support for the England Football team was carried.

From tomorrow all shops in Sprodlington will display England Flags in their shop windows.
“Its great news for the England team and could possibly assist in the important match against Algeria on Friday.” said Alfie Barnett outside the meeting.

Even young Bin, the owner of Dionysus Kebabs said that he would purchase the England Flag and display it alongside his Greece Flag.

A present for Robert Green, England’s Goalkeeper

Now, I don’t pretend to know an awful lot about football, but we were expected to win yesterday’s game of “soccer” against the USA. Whilst Wade did suggest on Friday that the USA would turn up late and claim the victory; the generosity of a certain Robert Green in the England goal, meant that they nearly didn’t need to come at all (although technically they would have needed someone to have the shot on goal as Green may have stopped a back pass.)

Clearly Mr Green’s gloves were faulty and not working. First thing Monday morning I will be despatching to Mr Green, England Training Camp, Rustenburg, the following. They are the most sticky gloves I can find, and whilst I know a good workman should not blame his tools, I am sure Mr Green will consider wearing these as they are far stickier than his current selection.

Secondly, last night as I wandered home after work from Templetons Hardware, Sprodlington, I came to the opinion that the town is not supporting England as much as it could. Many of those in Sprodlington know that I am Chairperson of the local Chamber of Commerce. During AOB on Monday evening’s meeting I will be suggesting that every shop in the town puts an England Flag in their front window.

England match v USA


Wade and I sat in The Cross Keys, Sprodlington last night enjoying a rather nice pint of World Top and pondering Capello’s starting line up for this evening.
“Do you know what?” posed Wade as he raised his glass to his mouth
“I wonder if the Americans will turn up just before the end and claim the victory!”


Bloody Sun – England Flags


So, the day after I stock up on England Flags, trying to do my patriotic best for Queen and Country and that Rooney swearing bloke, The Sun newspaper “gives them away ” to all readers (if that’s an adequate description for those who buy the newspaper

In the meantime, my flags which are reasonably priced at £3.99 appear to have faltered at half mast.

I have a box of 150 unsold flags in my store-room. It’s not even as if there’s a Royal Wedding on the horizon, and it does appear as though The Queen is going on for a little bit longer. Would people wave flags if the Duke of Edinburgh left us ? I’m not sure if he is even English though.

Bugger and sod.