World Cup Baby Names

I jest ye not!

These are a list of babies registered at KwaZulu-Natal hospital during the World Cup. True to Zulu tradition, the newborns have been named for events at the time of their birth.

Offside Mchunu;
Argentina Sibiya;
Vuvuzela Mhlongo;
England Nkosi;
Soccer City Mthembu;
Cameroon Vilakazi;
Striker Hadebe;
Italy Buthelezi;
Midfielder Zwane;
Denmark Ntombela;
Red-card Mbatha;
Brazil Khuzwayo;
Coach Sibisi;
France Kheswa;
Goalkeeper Sithole;
Parreira Mthethwa;
2010 Dlamini;
Jersey Magubane;
Substitute Shandu;
Ball Skhakhane;
Stadium Gumbi;
Kick-off Shabalala;
Park n Ride Khumalo;
Half-time Hlatshwayo;
Tickets Ngubane;
and Kaka Zuma.

How fantastic is that

Regards to all
Dreary Day in Sprodlington Derek

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Derek and The Dominos

Wade insists on losing his shirt

It should have been a quiet end to the night. The World Cup Final had played out in the public bar of The Cross Keys, Sprodlington and in the corner of the saloon bar, with a few World Top’s already consumed, Wade the crop sprayer sat with the rest of us. He had just lost every game of dominos.

I couldn’t work out why he continued with his bizarre tactic of trying of offload all his 3’s first; I’ll never understand.

“You’ll take the bloody shirt off my back” barked Wade, jumping up from his stool and scattering the dominos.

“Wade, we’re playing for a couple of quid a corner,” I said. “Now sit down.”

“You’re just a bunch of hustlers,” he continued “and you want the sodding shirt off my back.”

“Oh for God’s sake, here we go!” predicted Colin, having seen Wade do the same routine at least seven times in the last 12 months.

And so there we sat, and watched Wade stand on his stool; take off his shirt like a footballer who had scored the winning goal in the World Cup final, and swing it around his head before releasing it across the bar.

Now sit down” we all said.

Its official – Sprodlington now really supports England !

At this evenings Sprodlington Chamber of Commerce meeting, a motion to increase the town’s visible support for the England Football team was carried.

From tomorrow all shops in Sprodlington will display England Flags in their shop windows.
“Its great news for the England team and could possibly assist in the important match against Algeria on Friday.” said Alfie Barnett outside the meeting.

Even young Bin, the owner of Dionysus Kebabs said that he would purchase the England Flag and display it alongside his Greece Flag.

Bloody Sun – England Flags


So, the day after I stock up on England Flags, trying to do my patriotic best for Queen and Country and that Rooney swearing bloke, The Sun newspaper “gives them away ” to all readers (if that’s an adequate description for those who buy the newspaper

In the meantime, my flags which are reasonably priced at £3.99 appear to have faltered at half mast.

I have a box of 150 unsold flags in my store-room. It’s not even as if there’s a Royal Wedding on the horizon, and it does appear as though The Queen is going on for a little bit longer. Would people wave flags if the Duke of Edinburgh left us ? I’m not sure if he is even English though.

Bugger and sod.