Templeton’s launch brand new range of Hardware Jewellery

 

 

OFFICIAL PRESS RELEASE

jewellry1Templeton’s Hardware are excited to announce their latest brilliant venture “Hardware Jewellery”.  Managing Director and Creative Guru, Derek Templeton said  “This exciting launch brings together months of creative design and planning.  We fully expect to be overwhelmed with demand.”

Templeton’s Hardware has been at the cutting edge of the retail sector for years under the entrepreneurship and dynamic leadership that is Derek Templeton.  Derek explains  “In a market where consumers have less money and are more selective, I had the brain wave to link hardware and luxury altogether under one roof.”  Supported in-store by fellow members of his newly formed Buying Committee, Derek explained that both Doreen Baldock and PC Tucknott had creative input.  “Doreen wears jewellery and was able to help with the design and PC Tucknott chose the string.”

Derek explains that its easy to get started.  “We have a carefully selected range of bits of piping and nuts and bolts, none of which have come from in-store damages, or job-lots.”

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“Our shoppers can mix and match and then wait whilst Doreen or PC Tucknott assemble their own design.  There is a small incremental  charge if the shopper wants help with the design and you would expect from a design studio such as ours.”   Derek explains that the turnaround time is quick.  “The advantage of having PC Tucknott involved is that he gained experience of knot tying when he was a scout leader, before the “scout in a headlock incident”, which he has now put behind him.”

Prices start from £19.99 and are an ideal New Year’s Day present. There is an introductory £1 off offer for orders of 5 or more.

 

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Bugger off ! We’re closed !

I’ve been working through the night; forced to take drastic action following the real threat of an invasion from uninvited guests.

Yesterday, Susie Kelly from “Dial a Dog Wash” fame announced to all that she could be coming to Sprodlington to pay me a visit. Now, most people would wait to be invited (perhaps it’s a French thing not to)and in this instance the wait would have been terminal. Inviting yourself, well it’s just rude!

The benefit of being a Hardware shop is that I have lots of boards and wood around. Yesterday, I put both my shop and myself into hiding. I am closed today anyway as it’s Sunday.

Ms Kelly is firstly visiting Doris Brazil in Bovey. I worry though, that in her fragile state of mind, whether Doris will recognise her and if she does whether her mind will retain the information. Doris recently confused herself over which of her customers had a wooden leg!

I hope that by taking my shop into camouflage, its enough to keep Ms Kelly at Doris’ and is a clear message that we are a more selective with our customer base here in Sprodlington.

I am going fishing for the day. I’m not saying where though for fear of being stalked again!

Vandals, blooming vandals

It says something about the world in which we live when vandalism hits the small market town of Sprodlington.

The talk in the town yesterday, in what can fortunately be described as a busier day than usual in my shop, was of a riot of vandalism sometime between 12am and 6am the previous night. That’s the time when I am definitely asleep.

It appears as though our little market town was visited by some older looking hoodies who took to scratching some of the local residents’ cars. In a bizarre form of “tagging” (I think that’s the term) these vandals only scratched cars of the mid blue colour range. I understand that in total thirty cars were scratched.

What is the world coming to ?

Trade discounts

When Carl the Fishmonger opened his new shop three doors down from mine in Market Place, Sprodlington, I was quick to pop in and give him a welcome “Hello”

Wendy had reminded me that we had nothing in for tea and so having introduced myself as Derek Templeton from Templeton’s Hardware, I ordered some nice fresh cod from my new acquaintance Carl from his new shop “Fother’s Plaice” (how clever to play on words like that Wendy had said)

I thought I’d mention to Carl the idea of a “Traders’ Discount” as he wrapped my cod on the scales.

“Perhaps a mutual 25% discount for traders in Market Place?” I suggested. “I could always recommend this shop to my local and regular customers.” Carl agreed and at that stage I decided to change my order from cod to monkfish. He didn’t seem too upset at having to unwrap the cod and start again.

A couple of days later, Carl came to my shop and looked up as the clunky door bell announced his arrival.

” I need a couple of shelving brackets please Derek.” he said.

” You’re lucky” said I. “I have a great linksave offer with T Cut Metallic Colour Restorer” I probed tentatively.

“I’m just fine with the shelving brackets today thanks” said Carl showing me a puzzled look for the first time.”But I thought I’d support a fellow Market Place trader!”

I quickly remembered the 25% discount he had given me on the recent purchase of monkfish. In truth I panicked a little as I realised that I wouldn’t be quick enough to work out how to add 15% to the price before taking 25% off.

“The thing is” I stumbled, “I’m afraid I can only give you a 10% discount. My margins are lower than your fish, and I’ve had a really quiet week.” I lied. ” I guess most of my customers must have been visiting your shop instead. I’m sure you understand.”

I’m sure he didn’t.

Mrs Griffiths’ Gate Latch

Last night on the way home from a rather late stay at The Cross Keys, where I shuffled a few hands of dominoes with the local history teacher Colin; fish monger Carl; and Wade the crop sprayer, I saw Mrs Griffiths’ gate latch hanging off her side gate. Naturally I stopped to take a look, but found it rather difficult to focus following a few tall glasses of World Top. It came off in my hand, so I quickly left it on the floor and continued home.

This morning in my very own Templeton’s hardware store, the clanking bell at the top of the door which either announces the arrival of a customer or a gust of wind (perhaps from the customer) sounded and in walked Mrs Griffiths clutching the broken gate lock.

“The lock on my side gate has broken.” she said.

“I know.” I replied and quickly bluffed “I can see it in your hand.”

“I don’t know how that happened.” she continued, but able now to look at me in my rather bloodshot eyes for the first time.

“Just old and weathered I expect. Can I help you with a new one ?”

And so I managed to reap the rewards from my slight accident and £7.95 sat warming itself in my till.