Come on Mitch – Man up!

Those who have followed my trials and tribulations recently will have realised (and perhaps sympathised with me),  as not only do I have to live  with my monstrosity of a daughter, but now also “Mitch the boyfriend”.

My wife Wendy thinks it’s all fabulous. Tracey and her act like sisters and Mitch just does what he’s told.  He’s sent for the  birthday cards they forgot to buy;  for the milk they forgot to stop for on the way home; and for the lottery tickets just in case its our turn for the rollover.  “Ooh wouldn’t that be nice Derek, we could all go on a Cruise!”  (I’d launch a life boat someone near Crete with a handful of cash though).

Most recently Mitch has been making spontaneous impulse purchase whilst on his last-minute missions.  Last night he came back from Sainsbury, where he had been sent to collect some nail varnish remover and Head and Shoulders Shampoo.  He returned with his selections but also some vanilla candles and some pink suff for the toilet. “I thought these would be rather nice Wendy.  You keep such a lovely home and I thought these fitted nicely with the warmth and sentiment you share.”

“You stupid arse!” I mumbled. “You stupid arse!”