Comedy at its best

The best comedy

Jimmy Tarbuck is one of my favourite comedians and I thought I would share some of the best jokes he told me from years ago. When talking about East Yorkshire’s most well-known politician he said “Some ladies fancy John Prescott. It’d be like having a wardrobe fall on top of you. With the key in.” He’s so funny is Tarby. Another gem with which he made me laugh “Guess who I bumped into in Specsavers the other day? Everyone”
He’s much funnier than the likes of Bobby Davro. I remember Bobby saying about his co-star from East Enders that she “had a face like a bulldog licking p*** off a thistle”. I still haven’t laughed.
Give me Bobby Ball, Tommy Cannon and Tarby any day of the week and everyone would smile all the time

The Junior Apprentice

Wendy and I watched The Junior Apprentice programme on television the other evening and Wendy remarked on how none of them would last two minutes in Sprodlington.

“Too true Wendy” I said and reminded her of the last time Mike Harper and the boys at Mike Harper Autos had taken on an apprentice and how he had been sent to visit my shop.

“Good morning Mr Templeton” said the young man after waiting for the bell above the door to stop clanking.

“Mike Harper has sent me up for a tin of tartan paint and a long “”weight””  please.” It’s the same gag every time with Mike, and its up to me to decide how long the long “weight” is. But this time I decided that I would take pity on the young man. Perhaps he would have a little “smooch” or whatever the word is that Sir Alan uses.

“Young man” I said ” There are  no  long weights sold in the UK anymore.” He looked a little concerned. “And I am right out of tartan paint. The problem is that the Euro zone have introduced Rules Regulations and Restrictions” I continued, making sure I emphasised the “R’s” with that rolly R thing that public speakers do (or probably those ghastly people on The Junior Apprentice in 10 years time.)

“But what shall I tell Mr Harper?” questioned the young lad, looking even more concerned.

“Simple!” said I, thinking I was in insurance comparison advert for a moment. “Just walk up to Mr Harper and say “”Euro R’s”

I hope he didn’t get the sack.