Meet Sid Cowell

As with any small market town, Sprodlington has its eccentrics.   Most are harmless. For instance,  we all know Colin is unpredictable especially when a casual game of dominoes turns against him, but he isn’t really troublesome.

Councillor Sid Wormell is however a complete pain in the arse. Forever chasing the limelight, Wormell announced to The Sprodington Post this week that he has changed his name to Sid Cowell in honour of his idol Simon.  Having spent time at the local comprehensive school judging their “Sprod Idol” competition, which Fleur Brinklow won with her lovely acoustic rendition of The Grateful Dead’s “China Cat Sunflower”, he has insisted in staying in character ever since.

Last Saturday, Sid came into the shop.

“I can honestly say this is  poor attempt at a Hardware store.” he announced.

“Piss off Sid !”

“But you do have the likeability factor,” he replied “And you remind me of a young Ronnie Barker in Open all Hours.”

“You remind me of everything I never wanted to be Sid.”

 

 

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Britain’s Got Talent Auditions


I watched most of Britain’s Got Talent last year, but on reflection, I wonder whether they are judging the people with real talent or if Simon Cowell has just let the potential revenue generators through.
I mean yes, Susan Boyle sang well and Diversity danced together, and in this series the Spelboud group were strong and supple – but is that real talent?
I can whistle and hum at the same time. I think that’s a real talent and its one that I think will get that Amanda out of her seat doing her seal clapping thing, whilst she smiles and fully tests her Botox. Even Piers Morgan would say
“This is real talent. This is what this competition is all about. Its a “yes” from me.” And Cowell would say
“You’ve got three yesses. You’re sailing through to the next round.”
My challenge would be to pick the correct song to get the crowd out of their seats, clapping along to start with. I am considering the following
Durham Town – Roger Whittaker
Where do you go to my lovely – Peter Sarstetd
The Windmills of you mind – Noel Harrison