Bugger off ! We’re closed !

I’ve been working through the night; forced to take drastic action following the real threat of an invasion from uninvited guests.

Yesterday, Susie Kelly from “Dial a Dog Wash” fame announced to all that she could be coming to Sprodlington to pay me a visit. Now, most people would wait to be invited (perhaps it’s a French thing not to)and in this instance the wait would have been terminal. Inviting yourself, well it’s just rude!

The benefit of being a Hardware shop is that I have lots of boards and wood around. Yesterday, I put both my shop and myself into hiding. I am closed today anyway as it’s Sunday.

Ms Kelly is firstly visiting Doris Brazil in Bovey. I worry though, that in her fragile state of mind, whether Doris will recognise her and if she does whether her mind will retain the information. Doris recently confused herself over which of her customers had a wooden leg!

I hope that by taking my shop into camouflage, its enough to keep Ms Kelly at Doris’ and is a clear message that we are a more selective with our customer base here in Sprodlington.

I am going fishing for the day. I’m not saying where though for fear of being stalked again!

Vandals, blooming vandals

It says something about the world in which we live when vandalism hits the small market town of Sprodlington.

The talk in the town yesterday, in what can fortunately be described as a busier day than usual in my shop, was of a riot of vandalism sometime between 12am and 6am the previous night. That’s the time when I am definitely asleep.

It appears as though our little market town was visited by some older looking hoodies who took to scratching some of the local residents’ cars. In a bizarre form of “tagging” (I think that’s the term) these vandals only scratched cars of the mid blue colour range. I understand that in total thirty cars were scratched.

What is the world coming to ?